The case for a phone-free evening

At every CALMVAS session there is a basket by the door. Phones go in, face down, and come back at the end for the group photo. People are usually nervous about it for about ten minutes. Then they forget.

A phone on the table still takes a seat

In a 2017 study, people did slightly worse on attention and memory tasks when their phone was face down on the desk than when it was in another room, even though it never rang. The researchers called it “brain drain”: part of the mind stays busy not checking. Later attempts to repeat the result have been mixed, so it isn’t settled science. But most of us recognise the feeling of half-listening while waiting for a buzz.

Doing something new together

Psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues found that couples who took part in novel, mildly challenging activities together reported higher relationship satisfaction than couples who spent the same time on pleasant but familiar ones. A painting evening is a small version of that: new for almost everyone, a little challenging, and much more fun when you can laugh at each other’s canvases.

People are usually nervous about it for about ten minutes. Then they forget.

The same goes for friends and colleagues. Conversation flows more easily when your hands are busy and your eyes have somewhere to rest. Nobody has to fill the silence; the painting does.

How to try it at home

• Pick one evening a week and put every phone in a drawer or basket for two hours.
• Choose an activity with your hands: painting, cooking from scratch, a puzzle or a board game.
• Keep one phone on loud in the next room if you’re worried about emergencies.
• Take photos at the end, not throughout.

You will probably reach for your pocket a few times in the first half hour. That reflex is the best argument for the experiment.