How to talk to your child about their art

Your child runs over with a painting covered in circles, streaks and something that might be a dog. What you say next matters more than you might think, because children learn very quickly what kind of attention their art earns.

Skip “what is it?”

To a child, “what is it?” can sound like “I can’t tell, so you got it wrong.” Many children’s paintings aren’t of anything. They are experiments with colour and movement, which is exactly what they should be at that age.

Try “tell me about your painting” instead. It invites a story without assuming there has to be a subject.

Describe what you see

Children light up when you notice specific things: “You used so much orange here.” “These lines look like they’re moving fast.” “I love how this green goes on top of the blue.” Describing shows you really looked, and it teaches the vocabulary of art without a lesson.

Describing shows you really looked, and it teaches the vocabulary of art without a lesson.

Praise the effort, not the gift

In a well-known series of experiments, psychologists Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck found that children praised for being clever were more likely to avoid hard tasks afterwards, while children praised for their effort chose harder challenges and enjoyed them more. The same applies at the easel. “You’re so talented” can make a child afraid to try something new in case they lose the label. “You kept going even when the colours mixed” celebrates something they can do again.

Questions that open the conversation

• Which part was the most fun to paint?
• How did you make this colour?
• If you painted it again, what would you change?
• What should we call it?
• Where should we hang it?

Make room on the wall

Displaying work, on the fridge, in a frame or on a string of clothes pegs, tells a child their ideas are worth looking at. Rotate pieces every few weeks and let them choose what goes up. It is the cheapest confidence boost there is.